Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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