Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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