I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
