In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
