I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
