i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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