That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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