apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
