i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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