she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
