hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
