i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
