The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
