Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
