I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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