The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
