This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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