Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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