So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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