whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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