whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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