Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize