There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize