CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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