Are we in a gay sports bar?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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