Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how can u be prego again
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I supernannyed him into submission
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize