It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
