Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
