You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
