just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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