4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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