This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
