I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
