It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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