It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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