Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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