I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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