so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
