either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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