just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
