so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
