I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
