If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
