"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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