too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
