I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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