brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
