you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
