i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
