Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
