Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
