Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i think i have herpe
just one?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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