Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
