his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
