Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
