careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
