Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
