Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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