I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm always down for nudity.
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