i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
