ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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